WE’VE MOVED!!! Just a little change

Hello to anyone finding their way to this blog!

I am now blogging on an upgraded version of this one.  Same posts will be  available and new ones coming all the time.  Check us out at

http://www.lifesthirdtrimester.com

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Wishing you well on your own journey in these exciting times!!!

The World of Work in the Third Trimester

courtesy of Scott Wright Photography

If we don’t change, we don’t grow.
If we don’t grow, we are not really living.
Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.

~ Gail Sheehy ~

It doesn’t matter what your past experience with the world of work has been. There is a wide range of mix of experiences in our age group.

Some of us have worked for one employer all our lives or a series of employers. Some of us have always been self employed, self generating entrepreneurial persons. Some of us have tried entrepreneurial work during our Learning Years and gone back to employment

We have held traditional roles, we have broken free of tradition . We learned and grew from every experience with work we have had. And, that was good for our Learning Years, our first two trimesters.

Here, in the Third Trimester we often experience change in regard to our perspective about the world of work.

• Days seem shorter
• Less is more
• We work when we want, or can
• We often have the experience of being “fuller” than before
• Work itself becomes an end, not a means and we actually enjoy it

The idea of re-tire-ment changes too.  It’s as though we get a new set of tires for that vehicle that has served us for so many years. We actually can create a new version of how we want our lives to be after 60.  What are you planning for your new lifestyle? Is work a joy or a necessary burden? How do you view work now?

If you are approaching your Third Trimester, how do you see what others have done or are doing in light of your own vision for yourself?  What kinds of models and examples do you want to see?

My promise is to reply to every comment and your views are always welcome.  There is always more!

GETTING SET IN OUR WAYS: Third Trimester inevitability or an opportunity for more?

There is an old adage that says as we age, we get “set in our ways”.

Many of us have believed this to be inevitable. What if instead, it was an opportunity for more? More stability. More focus. More pleasure. There can be many things that in our previous decades we attempted to accomplish and failed or did not accomplish to our satisfaction due to poor habits, lack of time, or any number of obstacles.

Now, in our Third Trimester, being set in our ways means we can set our ways more easily. Becoming more habitual can aid us in developing good habits. We can set new ways as we choose.  I’m sure this is as individual as each of us;  but if you think about it, can you see that developing good habits has become easier for you?

Even if you had good habits in the past, or if you have had bad habits and tried to break them by replacing them with good habits, building habits is a process.  Whether it is sticking to a diet, or keeping the house straight, or even driving under the speed limit.  The process is generally the same. Have you noticed it isn’t as hard as it once was to do that? I could be that becoming more habitual is an opportunity, not a detriment.

Consider the horizons it would open to us.  We can learn new skills, new ways of behaving, even learn a new sport with less struggle and more ease. Science has proven in recent years that learning is a key to longevity. Learning does not have to diminish with age.  We do not have to be slaves to our old bad habits either. The messages we have been given and the misunderstandings we have believed simply led us to think so.

I would like to hear comments about this topic.  What have you learned lately?  What new habits have you built? Is this a new thought and if so, are you willing to try it out and report back to the rest of us? As we begin to appreciate the wonderful advantages life gives us during this time, our lives become even more precious.

My promise is to reply to every comment and I welcome your thoughts.

Being Your Own Best Friend: A Third Trimester Bonus

It’s a bonus we receive in our Third Trimester to be our own best friend. Ironically, we seem to receive this bonus through experiencing loneliness.

You may have heard that as people age, they get more lonely.  You could say that there is something to that,  that the reality of loss often increases during this time.  Sometimes it seems to me that we are “supposed” to experience loneliness for the teaching it has to give.   Could it be possible that loneliness is one of the roads to self?

It’s very possible that loneliness drives us to connect.  We are after all, pack animals. The fear of being excluded is within each of us. It is a fundamental driver. So when we reach out, when we participate, the loneliness diminishes.

Reaching out also means being proactive in putting out love. In doing so,  you inform yourself about your unique gifts. When you give more love, joy ,help to the world you receive back more and more.  The more friends you make, the more love you feel.

If you are your own best friend, that’s what gets you past those losses that seem so inevitable.  That and keeping up your ability to make friends.

If you have not mastered this wonderful state of being your own best friend, it is well worth attempting to expand into it just a little more. Usually with very little practice most of us get the picture really fast.  So when you take time to practice being with yourself in a friendly way,  it becomes a habit (more on habits on another blog). You will discover the best friend you can have.  Yourself.  Of course, not in lieu of other friends but certainly as a primal point of focus.

Here’s my advice and as always it’s free

1. Every time you post of Facebook” like” yourself.  Click on it to let the universe know that you are here and you are at the ready.
2. Give yourself the gifts you would give another person.
3. When you are with yourself, make yourself comfortable as you would with a guest.
4. Offer yourself the things that are good to have and spend time with yourself in a variety of ways.
5. Remind yourself when you are alone you are not alone.
6. Realize you are always with yourself. And that is a marvelous place to be !

Once the decision is made within to be your own best friend, the process of growth begins.  Others are attracted to us. We find connection flows more easily  And, we receive more than we ever dreamed.  Gratitude fills the heart and in doing so, spills out to the world as a natural part of our being.  We are pretty cool people!!!!

If your heart is full, if you still want more, if you like yourself  I’d love to hear all about it.  Post a comment and let’s hear some really good stories.  The Third Trimester is listening as well as telling. We get really, really good at listening because there is so much to hear!!!!

SO WHY ARE WE REALLY HERE? Purpose and the Third Trimester of Life

Has it ever occurred to you to wonder why we are still alive? What purpose are we still here to do? When we enter Third Trimester, we find more and more friends and family are leaving this world and it often sets us to wondering (more on an upcoming blog about the “D” word).

Why am I still here?

We can site our good health, habits, genetics, luck – any number of reasons for us to still be here when others are gone.  Yet, how can we not consider the real purpose of our lives when we know our days are truly limited now.

Recently, I had a discussion about this topic with a group of thinking people from many generations.  The concept that our Purpose changes had not occurred too many, but I have found my Life’s Purpose to grow and evolve.  Currently, I believe we are here to help one another.

In our present culture, this usually means giving up a parking place or thanking the person in front of you who opens the door or giving up our place in line. And, we would be right.  Those of us in our third trimester understand that by being who we are authentically we help others more than anything.  When we can place our authentic self above all else in our lives we help build a world by example. We show others it isn’t as important what you do, but who you are as you do it.

Some say that during our latter years, the need to contribute grows.  I think contributing is a natural outcome of being our own true selves. We contribute because we are. We have become the change we want to see in the world.  Surprisingly true!!

I’d like to hear from others about this as well.  Why do you think you are here? What is it that you still want to bring to this world before you leave?

It’s Not About Age, It’s About Fulfillment

The Third Trimester is not just about your age.  It also denotes a fulfilling time. When we as humans begin to feel fulfilled and not just desire fulfillment, it is generally a sign that the third trimester has begun.  This can happen at any age, but it cannot be manufactured, learned or practiced. It can only emerge.

It is natural to work on creating the life you truly want. We envision and practice and gain knowledge toward that end.  We can look at the natural emergence of fulfillment as the fruits of our labors. In Life’s Third Trimester, after the work, after the practice has resulted in living the life we want, this fulfillment brings even more fruits.  Now we are able to let go of past unwanted behaviors more quickly. (see my upcoming blog on good habit building)  It is less important to acquire skills and more important to enjoy the mastery of our skills.   Now is the time we can share our authentic selves more and more.

For myself, I treasure this gift in ways I have never treasured it before.  I respect life more now than at any other time. Yet it doesn’t look or feel anything like what I thought it would when I so desired to love my life more, to respect life, and to fully embrace life.

I’d love to hear your thoughts around this.  As a manifester of life, as a person with dreams that are coming true, we can share with one another and serve as magnificent examples of what the Third Trimester can be.  We are the forerunners of a New Age and those who come after can begin to see a new way of being for themselves in this Trimester too.

“It’s not the events in your life that matter. It’s the kindnesses” – SM 2011

LIFE’S JOURNEY CONTINUES

Welcome.  If you are on a life’s journey and have found your way to this blog, I am grateful and know there is more than coincidence that has led you here.

This topic is a natural outcome of turning 70 and realizing not only how far we have all come in life, but also of how far we still have to go. Journeying with others has always been a delight to me. As a psychotherapist/Life coach working with many people (mainly women) who wanted release from past emotional wounds, and to create more healthy relationship, I found we all want much of the same things.Now as I transitioned through my 60′s and entered my 70′s,  the gift of guiding others through change has evolved into more connecting with others as a changed being.  People everywhere who had made this wonderful journey and who have arrived at what I consider to be the Third Trimester of Life are welcome here.Blogging and discourse and of course social networking will be a mainstay of this journey.  There is more to come.  By the way, I’m beginning to use “online community” to better represent that phenomena.  So dear friends,  there will be more.  There is much to say, talk about, share, create and become.  I will post again very soon.  Stay tuned. Comment at will.